Three shores made it through.
One came out victorious.

Friday's centrepiece is Montserrat — a serious cycling climb up a jagged mountain to a monastery that's stood there for close to a thousand years, 8.5km at close to 7% gradient the whole way. For anyone who'd rather walk it, there's a summit hike from the monastery itself with views back over the whole range, e-bikes for an easier ride, or — for anyone happy to skip the saddle altogether — the city beach at Barceloneta is a ten-minute taxi from anywhere in town.

The nightlife is a proper late scene, dancing till whenever the group's ready to stop. And there's a genuine myth sitting underneath the city worth leaning on for the theme: Barcelona's own founding legend has Hercules's ninth ship washing up here on his own voyage. Jonny wouldn't be the only mythic traveller to end up in this city.

Friday starts at the foot of the Serra de Tramuntana, and from there the group can split however it needs to. Sa Calobra is 26 hairpins carved into a cliff face — the exact stretch of road professional cycling teams fly out to suffer on every winter, 9.5km with ramps over 12%, ending at a cove that only opens up once the last bend clears. Anyone who'd rather not grind up a category climb can take the coastal run out toward Cap de Formentor instead, or hop on an e-bike — and for anyone sitting the ride out entirely, the island's short on nothing when it comes to golf courses or a straightforward beach morning. Everyone lands in the same place for lunch, back together by early afternoon regardless of how the morning was spent.

The weather's about as good as it gets — 2023 hit 29–30°C every single day of these exact dates, and it's stayed dry every October for the last five years running.

The big-name superclubs that used to anchor Mallorca's reputation have mostly closed, but that's not actually where the island's nightlife lives — the real scene is the year-round bar streets around Santa Catalina, which don't shut for the season.

Friday heads out through Waterland — flat, fast cycling paths through polder country, past windmills and cheese towns like Marken and Volendam, stitched into a genuine ~100km day on the same junction-numbered network the locals ride. There's no mountain to summit here, and there doesn't need to be: it's a long, satisfying grind through some of the prettiest countryside in Europe, with e-bikes or a shorter loop for anyone who'd rather take it easier — or skip cycling altogether for a relaxed canal cruise instead.

There's a myth here that lines up with the theme almost too neatly — the Flying Dutchman, a ship's captain cursed to sail forever, unable to make it home no matter how hard he tries, doomed to try and fail on an endless loop. It's hard to find a closer folk-tale match to a groom fighting his way home through a series of trials of his own.

It's also the quickest of the three to actually get to — direct from both London and Manchester in under 90 minutes, most of a Friday saved before anything else even starts.

Come evening, Paradiso is the pick for dancing: a genuinely deconsecrated church turned into one of Europe's most respected music venues, about as far from a generic stag-do pub crawl as a night out gets.

Worth flagging on accommodation: a boat sleeping the group exists for £1,400 (~£117pp) — a nice idea, but genuinely impractical for 12 people over three nights, not a clean recommendation. The realistic going rate for a proper house is closer to £2,500 (~£208pp), and the market here is more limited than Barcelona's.